Not my Day

This very hour the rain is pouring hard. I can feel the cold and the sound of the raindrops on our rooftop. Whatever feelings I have right now is just like this hard pouring rain. My heart isn't good. Today is a special day for two people yet for me there's nothing to celebrate about. I know the things going on in here and I am not agree with this idea to celebrate it. However visitors came and there was food preparation. I just stayed here, inside this four corner room. I don't want to be with those people today. I'm not at the mood to face them all. I ate in here and spend my hours working with my blogs. I just hope that mom is really happy today. I felt guilt as well for doing this. But this is what I want to do for now. I don't want to give a force smile to our visitors. Few sneaked in here to ask me if I'm ok and of course i didn't say yes because I'm not. I want to talk to my sister right now but she's not online ;(. Perhaps an email for her will help.